I am not one of those abusive parents who doesn’t let her kid eat sugar. However because Kate has such bad teeth, she doesn’t partake in the candy thing often. Her teeth, in fact, are probably one step away from being tiny rooted stumps thanks to the sugar water that was probably her first year’s diet. Anyhow, I can’t deny her the joy of candy on Halloween so this year she partook. To date, she has tried:
1) A packet of peanut M&Ms, which she liked a lot.
2) A mini Hershey bar which made her nearly weep with joy and shout from rooftop.
3) A skeleton lolipop. The skeleton’s leg was a stick. She didn’t like this much but thought it interesting.
Today, she brought a Tootsie Roll (What’s this mommy???) in the car along with another packet of peanut M&Ms so they will be there when I pick her up after school. She moved them from the back seat to the front seat before heading into her class for some odd reason. Maybe she associates the front seat with snacks as it is usually the snacking launch pad. Ever since I started using snacks as sleep prevention tools when she was giving up her nap I have arrived equipped with a snack when I pick her up, typically some apple juice and a small bag of pirate booty or peanut butter pretzels. With either I must partake in the snack, of course. If it’s the pretzels, she eats the little peanut blob in the middle and I eat the shell. It’s the system.
Anyway, she asked me to identify some other candy from her pumpkin carrier this morning so I gave her my personal opinions about her bounty.
Kate: “What’s this mommy?”
Me: Some gross taffy. I don’t think you’d like that. Why would someone give you that? Cheapskate.
Kate: What’s this one?
me: Skittles. Those are little hard candies. (quite gross I think)
Kate: What’s this?
Me: Those are Starbursts. They’re fruity.
Kate: Yuck.
I am starting to think that Kate didn’t strategize well enough on Halloween. She wound up with a bucket of yuck, aside from a few chocolate scores, including a Twix, which she now pulls out.
Me: That thing is GOOD!
Jim: You got mommy talking about food? If mommy was in Willy Wonka’s shop she’d jump in that chocolate river.
Me: Well there’s not a lot of chocolate in this bucket. (Considering I already ate three of her Butterfingers, a candy that is among my top five, including Reeses (#1), Snickers, Kit Kat, and Almond Joy. I also like a fresh Three Muskateers, but that’s a chick thing as these candy bars have less fat than the others and thus induce less guilt)
We continue.
What’s this?
Me: Those are Sweeties or Sweet Tarts or something. Another gross candy I will not let her eat.
Missing are the baby apples and walnuts one of our neighbors put out for the kids. I was pretty shocked by her offering. I mean, the woman lives in a million dollar house and she’s offering the kids these crappy baby apples and walnuts that still have shells on them? I’m sure she’s some quirky green party wingnut, but still, she should have just locked her door and turned out the lights and huddled in some back room making an organic pie already….News flash: Halloween is about the CANDY! We don’t want your pencil erasers or your witchy stickers. Just hand over the Reeses, OK?
And as long as I am on a pissy rant parents, could you please gloat over my kid’s Bambi costume just ONCE and stop wetting your pants over every single darn Princess who floats your way? I know I am an angry feminist and the Princesses all look pretty, but it’s just not fair to my little Bambi to not get her share of attention because she’s not yet buying into all that crap about looking pretty to lure some blond dude in tights who will buy her a BMW minivan and keep her in the latest Manola Blahniks her for the rest of her life.
1 response so far ↓
Kim // November 15, 2007 at 2:11 pm
What ever happened to Pixie Stix? You know, those sugar straws that basically constitute prepackaged lines of kiddie cocaine? Now THAT was some trashy candy!
Have you read Candy Freak, by Steve Almond? Great book. Our foodie book club is reading it.