Fear has struck in my old San Francisco neighborhood once more. This time, the fear surrounds, gasp, a young individual, caucasian, dressed in “wrapper fashion” with bad dark teeth and saggy bottom pants (a saggy bottom boy, reassigned). Here’s what he is accused of: “he wrang my bell,” the spelling-challenged mom posted. The alleged assailant apparently tried to sell her a book to fund a trip to London. So she called the cops. Funny, however, that none of the other moms reported being harassed by the white wrapper. They’re probably all still freaking out about the black kid who’s ringing their doorbell, terrorizing the neighborhood with his pointer finger. Looks like we have an extreme case of doorbell ringing in Noe Valley. Keep you children safe!!!
But on the theme of robbers, the Bug and I had an interesting conversation this morning about thiefs and, as she puts it, “rogers.” This conversation followed a radio report about library budget cuts. I was explaining to the bug that some libraries were closing or cutting back hours because people don’t have a lot of money right now.
“We have money,” she said, which made me laugh for a minute.
“Yeah, for now we do,” I said.
“Unless a roger takes it,” she answered.
A Roger. Hmmm. Logically the Bug means a robber. Or a robber named Roger.
“What does a Roger look like?” she asked.
“I think you mean robber sweetie,” I said. “And a robber doesn’t really have one face.”
“Let’s see what a Roger looks like on the computer,” she said.
“No sweetie,” I tell her. “You can’t use the computer.” I had to remind her that her computer privileges were rescinded last week after she drew all over our dining room chair.
A robber can be anyone, I tell her. It can be the banker who steals all your money or the government that steals your money to bail out the bank or the wrapper who steals your laptop.
Ah, the many faces of the robber Roger.